"Don't discuss finances with the children..."

"Don't discuss finances with the children."
This was a statement handed down to me several years ago by the all and knowing Macomb County Friend of the Court, the judicial entity that is supposed to look out for the best interests of children due to divorce, separation our other legal disputes between parents here in Macomb County Michigan.

Of course, I DO DISCUSS FINANCIAL ISSUES with my children, because if I don't, then I open myself up too that giant glow off poor light that I am immediately placed into when I won't (or can't) provide requested additional funding for those stages in a child's life such as prom, driver's education classes,  summer camp, all those additional perks and wants that kids start expecting in the middle and late teen years, you know.

Remember, my opinions carry no weight, and I have no influence over how my children perform in school, our how they are raised in general. But inevitably, the hand comes out for me to partially contribute financially for these additional expenses, like clockwork, from day the age of 16 onwards.

Now, I'm never afforded the financial perks of having kids, no tax deductions for me, never offered and the few times I asked, of course, denied. That equates to thousands of dollars in tax breaks for the person able to claim it. The Mom has to look out for her financial interest, that is expected. At the least be up front about it.

I've been able to claim one child out of my 5 on my federal taxes once while divorced. Once.
While it pains me to have to say "no" when asked for these additional gifts, I really cannot feel guilty about it.

I encouraged my kids, and a step son to start earning money if thier own starting in their early teens, because if you want things, you need to go get them on your own to some extent. Our kids need to learn financial responsibility before they learn to drive. To bad society's influence differs from that reality so much.

So Custodial Moms, tell your kids the reality, that in paying child support, every time money is spent on a child's behalf, some of that came from their dad, mortgage, car payment, your food, clothes, utilities, gasoline, vacations, everything.

And maybe instead of degrading him, you should compliment Dad to them, because when they are with him, (WAY MORE THAN THE USUAL EVERY OTHER WEEKEND LIKE MOST) staying in their own rooms in his house, he provides EVERYTHING, and he NEVER asks Mom for money when he takes them on his vacations, trips, buys them clothes, treats, dinners out and the like.