If you are "DOING IT FOR THE KIDS" you may be a fool.....I was.

For years I was the irresponsible one, if the system wanted that money, by golly they needed to TAKE it from me. That went on for years, but in the end, as long as a guy is working, above board and not under the table, the system gets her what she is owed. The system is very creative, but so am I, I went so far as to not file income tax returns for the fact that the COURT would seize my refunds and sent them to the ex.

Then I got smart. That was not the way to live, not the example to be setting for my kids, not that it mattered, as it turns out, my examples were never noticed, never reinforced, never taken in by them. The exwives never wanted my children to take up anything after me, absorb and of my values, live by any of my examples.

I decided to set the good example ,be the nice guy, help out however I could. I fixed cars to help save her money, made home repairs to help save her money, loaned vehicles so her and my kids would have transportation, my current wife and step-son juggled work schedules so that those kids would have someone at home to stay with during summer vacation (remember, Dads are lucky to get two weeks in summertime).
I encouraged my current wife to be accommodating, be nice, it would "soothe and streamline" relations. "Do it for the kids." I said.

And then it came time to act on that deal the ex made with us, it came time to knock off that $3000 from the arrears that I had incurred. We had made a deal and it was time to cash out.

"No, I don't think so," she said with a smug smirk, "I changed my mind".  It was made clear, there would be NO reduction, of ANY kind.

I know she was thinking to herself  "HAHAHA! SUCKERS!"

One of the common threads you will notice throughout this blog is just how bad of a control freak these women are. They want us to be absent but paying fathers, pay with no say, I firmly believe that this is a common issue we non custodial fathers have with ex wives.

That was the very instant that the TRUE creature I was dealing with emerged, it was the instant that all my benefit of doubt evaporated. That was the moment that my wife's words of concern rang true. She was getting all her support, and I was paying my "calculated formula" daycare expenses all the while the kids were in MY HOME during that period of time.

At that moment, I woke the hell up and saw things for how they truly are, and how they have truly been.

I only could hope that as time went on, and as they got older, so would my kids. And looking at how things stand now, it does not look as though that is the case.