My stepson Steven, that's who. When his mother and I decided to get together, I had already been thru several relationships with women who had custody of their kids, and in each and every one, I felt as though I were an outsider.
I had to amend my habits, my way of doing things, my life in order for these relationships to endure. I found myself having in some instances, completely change who I was, and how I went about things.
A mothers' child seldom does wrong in her eyes, and if I were to speak up, there was usually hell to pay.
Well, Steven was at the tail end of those impressionable years, had already suffered through his parents' failed marriage, and a stepfather who was less than ideal. I did not want to spook the kid outright, but had decided that I was not going to be the conformist. I was not changing who or what I was.
Although I was challenged and tested, my limits were probed, and I had to make "adjustments" to my time table, in the end he had a choice, follow my rules and guidelines, follow his instruction, or he could take the easy road and go stay with his biological father.
At 23, he has been on his own, out of our home. He's now very gainfully employed, is not on any kind of governmental assistance programs, bought his own cars, rents his own apartment, pays his own utility, insurance and cell phone bills.
He takes care of himself and is truly financially independent. Because someone had the balls to be a father figure to him and set him on the right path.
Being his parent FIRST allowed us to be friends NOW.
And call me old fashioned, but I just happen to think that is how it is supposed to be.
Don't doubt me.
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