Flash back to late spring 2013, my youngest estranged son and his mother entered into his "buyout" agreement with her purchasing him a dirt bike motorcycle, a move I believe to be the final phase of a long campaign to alienate my son from me.
On the hinting from his Mom of the impending purchase of this bribe, he became more distracted, disruptive and less enthused about that upcoming family vacation thru Canada to New York State to The Herkimer Diamond mines, by way of Niagara Falls the week of Father's Day 2013. For the 4 or 5 months prior, he was just looking so forward to it, he spoke about it constantly.
He was failing in his school studies for that whole year. We all know that my hands were tied in the realm of academics, I had no real input, no "power" over anything to do with school as determined by the courts earlier that year. As far as his conduct in our home, up until the middle of May 2013, he was following house rules, pitching in on chores and duties, and generally well behaved.
Anyway, after this motorbike purchase, I discussed my feeling with my son about it, hitting a myriad of relevant topics, such his not being able to complete his homework or studies, but he was able to study for the test to operate that motorcycle, I outright told him that my impression was that it was a bribe, plain and simple. What else was he promised, why suddenly the emphasis on not going on vacation with us, were there not other dates available to get his riding certificate? Why is the only date his mother was selling him for that class during our family planned vacation?
He became furious, as he does when he is called out on things, it is a pattern of behavior I've seen time and again. He knew that it was BS, but he wanted that motorcycle, and the certificate to ride it so bad that he chose to sell out on his Dad.
He stormed from my home that warm summer day, and until this past Sunday, February 9th 2014, I have not heard a word from him. He had not returned to my home, called, emailed, nothing. He never even acknowledged our Christmas gift to him as a reward for his good behavior the first half of the year, nothing.
Fast forward to Sunday, February 9, 2014.
My phone rings displaying a number I am not familiar with, so as always, I allow it to go to voicemail. Playback reveals my estranged son, the message said "Dad, I need to talk to you, call me back when you get this."
I decide to send a text message, asking why, message back asks me to come to an area elementary school to talk. I ring the number and he answers barking orders to me, no hello Dad, no how are you, only a statement and demand.
"You need to come to the school right now, I have to talk to you!".
"About what?"
"Mom kicked me out of the house..."
"What am I supposed to do about it?"
"I have no where to go..."
"I guess you should have thought about that before you go around totally pissing people off eh?"
*click!* He hangs up on me.
That was very reminiscent of his mother's way of acting. Demanding demeanor, like someone owes them something, I thought initially maybe, just maybe I acted improperly, should have handled this different, but I soon came to clarity of the situation.
I had made it known over the summer that I'm done with the family and my ex's drama, had I given in to my son, I'm certain I'd be getting one side of the story and probably none if the truth, and she (the ex) must know better than to call me because she knows I don't trust a thing she says either.
It (clarity) manifested itself when I saw my ex cruise by my house, not stopping, not calling me about the situation, just driving by.
Shortly thereafter the ex sends me text asking for my daughter to call her, it is my parenting weekend, the daughter is here. Before I turn the phone over my daughter, I sent her mom a note,
"Son called me wanting to say how bad things are for him, and that you kicked him out off your house, he wanted to meet at so and so school and was texting and calling from phone number 313-555-5555"
I hand daughter the phone, daughter calls mom, they converse, no one asks to speak to me, she is just probing my daughter to see what I know...end of call.
I did send my son another message...
"If things are that bad, notify the proper authorities, if they care to talk to me about anything pertaining to the situation you know how to contact me."
Have not heard a thing about it.
Not a peep from anyone.
Just as I figured.
You see people, it's all about others' attempts at mucking up one's life with drama, and the less you fall victim to the attempts, the better you feel about the situation.
I've been restricted at all turns of this kid's upbringing, so these are not my problems!
The kid will be 15 in March, and he KNOWS mommy ain't kicking him out no time soon.... not as long as that Child Support is coming in!
Now here we are at January 2015, this year is the mandatory 3 year review by the Friend of the Court, you know, so they might figure out a way to further pit the screwed to me.
I'm figuring that the Mom will bring up the issue of the fact that my son had decided to not spend any time with me over the past year and a quarter, so that the Court might change the calculation of support to better favor her.
I guess my argument will be that the Court had allotted the current time in the order to me, and instead of encouraging my son to get right, she decided long ago to allow HIM to decide if he wishes to participate in my scheduled parenting time or not. His decision..which is the only way that the alienation scheme would work, along with the other factors, you know, no rules, no real parenting from mom, just being a pal, and consistently throwing the poor light on Dad.
So I'm anxious to see how this all goes when the time comes, how "fair" the system is going to view this whole thing.
March 2017 can't get here fast enough..
Can't wait to see what happens when he's 18 and it, the support, stops.
You are going to earn EVERY PENNY!
If changes need to be made because you can't control things in your house, have the court contact me about a hearing.
Otherwise, NOT MY PROBLEM.
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