Some discussion from a buddy at work sparked my inspiration for this entry.
I'm certain that some people who read my entries chalk these instances up to isolated incidents, individual pockets of bad luck. Listening him this morning only validates my beliefs in the fact that some people are just out to make others miserable. He caused me pause and made me reflect on things that I had already undergone.
He's divorced, he was complaining how his ex was banging around in the wee hours of the morning assembling a bed for the kids. Yes, you read that right. You see, after divorcing he had a little string of poor luck, a soured live in relationship where the girlfriend's daughter caused some rub and friction (a topic I'm not unfamiliar with in my own personal life by the way), I think he got his own place a while, but eventually moved back into the house with the ex-wife. They are not "together" though.
Anyway he was discussing how her making racket at like 1:30am was putting him off, she suffers from headaches and blows off work, assembles furniture at night. He talks like she is really portraying herself as the big victim.
I don't know really why he moved back, to ease the financial strain, (that child support is going to get paid to her even if you live there pal), maybe to have better involvement with his daughter (living there just let's the Mom make you out to be the ass all that much easier).
But if she ain't working or pulling her part of the load, guess who is? HIM of course! She seems to be following the playbook to the T! And she maintains total control, he talks about it, agitated, unhappy, so she obviously has control right? She can't be happy, then HE can't be happy. And she will make certain of it, don't doubt me...
Why don't people see this? It makes me crazy!
Another buddy of mine from work went thru the wringer not that long ago, he is a dedicated, hard working, committed guy, buys a home, a house, with his girlfriend, made payments on two nice vehicles, whatever she wanted he found a way to get it for her. She works too, but he made the real money in that relationship.
This guy, he busts his rump in a most thankless, stressful, physically demanding line of work, 50+ hours a week, she call the shots, and his horror stories of her kids..Indifferent, unmanageable, disrespectful. And she backs her kids leaving him to just eat one excrement sandwich after another.
He went home to what is supposed to be his refuge, and felt completely out of place and out numbered.
Eventually she decided to split up with him, and I thought the guy would jump off a bridge, he was in it for the long haul, accommodating, loyal, way beyond what any man should have been. She did what was best for her, and even these couple years later, I get the idea he still carries a torch for her. He has not seemed to have moved on, not by a long shot.
So, when you make the life and wallet changing decision to divorce, then DIVORCE! Why put yourself in the direct line of more misery by going back?
And when people put you out of their life, GO! LEAVE! Don't wallow around to be further taken advantage of! In fact, make them pay their fair share!
Be smart enough to go out and do what makes you happy, leave the negativity begging for somewhere to run.
Repel it, don't let it catch up with you.
They say BEEN THERE DONE THAT for a reason..
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